Making the Right New Year Resolution Will Enable You to Develop a Successful Intimate Relationship

Published December 28, 2011 by matchsoul

No matter how smart, intelligent, good-looking and “in-demand” you are, as long as you are not successful in developing the relationship you desire it means that there is something you do wrong. Why not make a New-Year Resolution to understand what this “something” is and become empowered to develop the relationship you desire?


If you perceive yourself to be charming, intelligent, smart, good-looking, self-confident, good-hearted and in spite of all these you experience constant problems regarding relationships, having difficulties either:

* Finding “the right person” and/or

* Keeping a relationship and/or

* Developing a satisfying, long-term bond.


Being smart, you find one thousand and one excuses justifying to yourself your current situation:

* You are too busy succeeding at your work;

* You haven’t found “the right person” yet;

* “The other sex” doesn’t understand/appreciate you;

* You want to play;

* You’re not really interested in a serious relationship;

* …and so on.


* Deep inside yourself you know that these are just excuses.

* Deep inside yourself you crave for a long-term, satisfying relationship.

* Deep inside yourself you admit to yourself that “something” is going wrong; “something” isn’t the way you’d want it to be.

But what is this “something”?

Have you ever wondered how to go about discovering what this “something” is?

Apparently not.

If you would have known what this “something” was, you would by now have the relationship you so much desire.


* Find out what this “something” is that withholds you from having a satisfying relationship;

* Take the steps necessary to change whatever needs change; and

* Become able to succeed in developing the relationship you so much desire.


End of the year, the holidays’ season may be the best time for you – rather than just sitting longing for a relationship – to make a New-Year Resolution to figure out all this “mystery”.

Where can you begin?

You can begin by observing yourself; looking at your thoughts, attitudes about partners and relationships, your ways of interaction. If you observe all these openly and honestly you can find out what stands in your way from having the relationship that you want.

* Is it really so that all the excuses you tell yourself are true?

* Could it be that you just sabotage yourself – once again – the same way you sabotage your relationships?


You may find this assertion difficult to accept, but it may very likely be that you sabotage yourself and your relationships over and over again – without knowing that you do!

Being charming, intelligent, smart, good-looking, self-confident and good-hearted isn’t a guarantee that you know “who you are” and that you are able to detect your mistakes.

The opposite might be the case: being charming, intelligent, smart, good-looking, self-confident and good-hearted, you might be constantly pursued by “the other sex”. This might drive you to the point of believing that if your relationships fail, it is not you, but them! Here is the evidence: you are so in demand! There is nothing wrong with you!

As a matter of fact, just because you are constantly pursued by the other sex and still don’t succeed in developing a true, long-term relationship indicates that something in you causes the failures of your relationships. If this was not the case, how can you honestly explain that you still don’t have the relationship you so much desire?


If you accept that it is you who causes the failure of your relationships (or at least can take some of the blame), and if you are motivated to find out what you do that brings about these failures, you can do so by developing Self-Awareness.


Self-Awareness is the process by which you get to understand things about yourself which you haven’t until now; come to realize the many subtle – and not so subtle – ways in which you have sabotaged your relationships until now; understand factors which have control over your life and “make” you sabotage your relationships without you being aware of it.


The best way to develop Self-Awareness is by reading articles like this one; by reading books on the subject; by attending self-awareness workshops; by seeking short-term counselling to get to know and understand yourself better.


12 comments on “Making the Right New Year Resolution Will Enable You to Develop a Successful Intimate Relationship

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