The main message of this blog posting is that you are molding and shaping your wife by your actions and by the things you say to her. Your wife is not like a muscle, you can’t build her up by breaking her down. When you break her down, you crush her spirit and self-worth, and she ultimately becomes more and more like the negative things you say to her. Marriage is not boot camp, and you’re not going to create an awesome marriage by being a drill sergeant. What needs to be clearly understood is that you don’t make someone beautiful, by calling them ugly. You don’t make someone feel special, by making them feel unimportant. You need to be focused on the positive things your wife does, and you’ll make her feel great about herself by building her up and praising her with compliments. That’s the foundation she needs to feel loved in your marriage.